A Long October
by NowakiStar
Summary: Jack is assaulted but can Damien help him through it? Will his and Jack's relationship ever be the same? And when the rapist strikes again, will Jack have the courage to confront him.   T for now, may go up. All characters. Applied Rape! Not a 1-shot!
1. Chapter 1

_Okay, I apologize for writing this! In fact, I hate myself for it! But, after watching __The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo__ I couldn't stop thinking about the great hurt/comfort stories on here. I absolutely love Blacken Wing and her story __Secrets in the Dark__. And there's some other ones I've read and liked. Which is pretty scary! _

_So, here is probably the worst thing I've let happen to one of P.C's and Kristen Cast's characters. But don't worry, Jack-baby is in good hands! Forgive me! _

_**WARNING: **__Implied _**rape,**___possible_ **smut**_ in later chapters though I don't plan on getting real descriptive. I mean, I'll keep it _Young-Adult-Novel_ but this isn't a Disney Movie!___

-/-

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Damien asked, holding Jack even tighter. They were sharing a last hug before Jack left for his shopping trip. Usually, if one of them left the school grounds they'd go together. However, tonight Jack insisted he go alone. He was buying Damien's birthday present after all. He couldn't just let Damien hover around while he did that.

"Yes, I'm sure." he said, melting into the taller boy's grasp. He breathed in Damien's scent, filling his lungs with warm air before he headed out into the cold, fall night. Finally, he pulled away, saying, "I better go before the mall closes."

"Be careful!" Damien called after him, "And don't forget to text me once you get there!"

"Oh, chill out. I'll be fine," Jack said, already leaving. He would later wish Damien had gone with him. Or at least, that he'd remembered to text him when he was supposed to.

Damien walked through a hallway alone, looking for the twins who'd promised to entertain him while Jack was gone. On the rare occasions that Jack left without him, he usually got a strange feeling in his gut. He knew it was dangerous, but Jack was a fledgling. He usually asked Nyx to watch over him, but tonight the feeling didn't hit him and he continued through the halls toward the doom rooms. *

"Hey, Damien!" Zoey Redbird, one of his closest friends, called.

"Hey, are you going to movie-night to?"

"Yeah, Erik's bringing his Star Wars movies and the twins are bringing the new Star Trek movie. Sounds great, doesn't it?" she rolled her eyes, laughing a bit.

"Maybe we'll be lucky and he'll mistake Star Wars for 300. I could go for some Sparta right now."

"Don't get your hopes up."

They walked side by side, laughing and chatting excitedly. It was just like any other Sunday night.

-/-

The next day, or night technically, Jack didn't show up for classes. Damien would have worried if he hadn't been informed that Jack had visited the infirmary in the wee-hours of the morning. _He's just sick, I ought to see what he wants for lunch; _he thought, about to text the younger boy. Of course, he stopped himself deciding Jack's rest was more important. Sleep would do him good. Damien would just have to swing over to his room during lunch and bring him something.

His friends weren't surprised when he turned down their requests to go with him. Damien liked to 'look after' Jack sometimes. And although a fledgling getting sick was unheard of, they agreed not to start assuming the worst.

Later, he wished he had let someone come with him. Jack didn't answer to the tip on the door. He'd had to make it with his shoe since his hands were full. Balancing a bowl in his arm, he reached into his pocket for the spare key. Once he'd found it, he quickly unlocked the door and let himself in.

Jack jumped when the door opened, though he looked away once he saw who it was. His gaze seemed to be fixed on the wall. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. For a second, he let himself meet Damien's eyes, but instantly turned away.

"Are you okay?"

It was a simple question. Though Jack couldn't find the right words. How could he explain things to Damien when he barely understood it himself? What had happened the night before was clear one minute, hazy the next. But one thing remained; the feeling of being dirty, soiled in a way. The feeling didn't leave him, even after the third shower he'd took.

He couldn't let himself taint Damien that way. That was the first thing he'd thought of when he saw who was at the door. He couldn't let Damien kiss him ever again. He couldn't dirty Damien as he'd been-

He felt a sudden touch on his arm.

The memory began again. _Someone grabbing his arm. The gun just out of view. Someone pulling him and shoving him into a van…_

Blindly, he struck out at the touch. A second later, the sound of a yelp and clattering against the floor forced him to look up. It was only Damien who'd touched him. And now, because of Jack, he was covered in steaming hot soup.

"I'm so sorry-" he started, reached out to help but… But he couldn't let himself continue. His arms and head both dropped.

_What the hell?_ Damien wasn't used to feeling so confused. And when he was, he typically had words to help him. Words larger than four letters.

This wasn't the over-the-top, bouncy, giggly Jack that he knew. Even in one of those rare, I'm-not-worthy-of-you moods, he had never acted like this.

"Jack," he breathed, not sure exactly what he was seeing. Had the boy suffered a complete mental break? "What happened to you?"

The words cut like a knife through his flesh. There was no way… Damien couldn't know. He just couldn't know. "Na-nothing!" he stuttered, his mind searching for a lie to tell.

Something was very wrong here. He set the bowl he still held next to Jack's alarm clock. Damien reached out and turned Jack's face toward his own. This time, Jack resisted striking him. Though the flinch was obvious.

"Jack, I can tell something's wrong. Please talk to me."

Damien's eyes were understanding, but really he had no idea what Jack was dealing with. He would never understand the feeling of absolute helplessness. The feeling of losing control and just not caring whether you lived or died anymore. Death would have been a blessing if it meant the pain ended.

"Jack?" He wondered if he'd said something wrong, though couldn't see how he had. Damien tried to put his arms around his now crying boyfriend but found himself being pushed back.

"I… I need some time, okay?" his eyes begged Damien to let him go.

"Alright," Damien wouldn't make Jack talk about it if he didn't want to. He didn't have a clue what was wrong, but he didn't want to push it. Just like everything else, Jack would talk to him eventually. He glanced at his watch. He really should be going soon. Classes would start up again in five minutes and he wasn't sure if he could make it in any less amount of time. "I've got to go, will you be okay alone?"

Jack nodded once; though he wasn't sure he wanted to be alone. On the bright side, Erik would be back in a few hours so at least he'd have one friend with him.

"Okay, I'll see you later." In spite of feeling he should stay, Damien left without another word. In his head, he asked Nxy for clarity. But, it seemed Zoey was the only person she after granted with answers.

-/-

**Okay, so… Should I make this rated M? I don't plan on anything really gross happening… But you never know… Possible flash-back in the next chapter. Oh, and the next one will probably be longer since I was a little rushed during this.**

**As always, many thank you's to the people who read this! If you'd like to talk to me about this, like actually talk, feel free to message me or write on my forum. (:**

***I think the dorms are in a different building. All well, that's totally unrelated! **


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thanks everyone for the positive responses! Also, I'm trying to keep this rated T… So, there's hints and brief glimpses of the assault, but nothing graphic… **_

-/-

_Jack's eyes were pressed closed, not that he'd be able to see his attacker away from their position. 'This isn't happening' he continued to tell himself. He might have believed it too, if his body wasn't completely aware of the other presence. If at least, he weren't responding to it…_

_For a moment, he almost told himself to just pretend he was with Damien. Then maybe, it wouldn't be too terrible…_

_Then a rough voice muttered in his ear to loosen up and the dream ended. He wasn't with Damien. And no matter what his body was saying, he didn't want this._

Jack sat up in bed, covered in a cold sweat. His heart was racing, even as he tried to slow his breathing. Glancing at his clock, he saw that classes would have ended about ten minutes earlier. He must have drifted off shortly after Damien showed up…

He shot out of bed, praying to Nyx that Damien wasn't already on his way there. He rushed into the bathroom to take a quick, cold shower. _Maybe he got a detention for visiting earlier,_ he thought hopefully, stripping out of his clothes.

He had just turned the water on when he heard the knock. He didn't plan on answering, or even acknowledging it until he'd finished. Surely, Damien would wait. He always did…

_I really don't deserve him,_ Jack thought,_ Damien is the sweetest guy anyone could ask for._ He'd wanted to go all the way with Damien, but he told Jack to wait. They had had plenty of time. There'd been no need to rush things. Then, Jack had let himself be played with by that… that monster. There was no way he could ever get close to Damien after this.

When Jack stepped out of the bathroom, both Erik and Damien were waiting for him. He hung his head in shame and said quietly, "Hey."

Damien was right, Erik thought, there does seem to be something wrong. Jack was typically in a bouncy, cheerful mood. Even when he was angry about something, he tended to be over-the-top and dramatic. Now, he was somber and just kind of pathetic.

"Feeling a little better?" Damien asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah," Jack replied, though he hardly looked it. As straight as Erik was, even he couldn't help wanting to hug Jack. He probably would too, after Damien left.

They all stood in silence for a minute, each one waiting for some great explanation.

"So, Jack, Zoey's renting some movies. It was going to be just the two of us, but you and Damien can come along." Erik said, giving him a friendly smile as if nothing had changed. Jack was grateful for the normality, although there was no way he would feel comfortable going with Erik on a date.

"It's alright, the nurse told me to get some sleep. Besides, Neferet is supposed to be here in a half hour." He'd run into the High Priestess when he'd returned to the school. She'd listened to him and took him to the infirmary to get cleaned up. Jack didn't know how she'd understood his babbling, but he thanked Nyx for sending her to meet him.*

"Oh," Erik said, thinking quickly, "Well, in that case maybe I'll ask a friend if I can stay in their room. You and Damien could probably use a night-in."

"No!" Jack replied too quickly. He instantly covered his mouth, wishing he hadn't spoken.

"Erik, do you think we could have a moment?" Damien asked, his eyes studying the dull carpet. He didn't understand Jack's strange behavior though maybe Jack would open up whenever his roommate left.

"Of course, man." Erik said, mentally wondering if he should just stay home that night. Jack's state of mind seemed a little too out-of-whack.

"Thanks," Damien said, listening as the door closed lightly behind his friend. He looked up, though Jack still refused to meet his eyes. For a second he didn't know what to say, but maybe he didn't need to.

Jack stepped closer to Damien, letting himself get close to Damien one last time. His eyes drifted shut as Damien caressed his cheek. He had told himself thousands of times to remember the feeling, though this time he intended to. He couldn't let their relationship continue now, no matter how much he wanted to.

Jack didn't return Damien's kiss. He hadn't expected him too, though it still hurt. However, it didn't hurt more than what happened next.

"Damien," Jack took a step back before blurting out, "I think we should take a break."

"What?"

Jack looked away, "I just need some time to think."

"Are you suggesting we break up?" Damien asked, unable to believe what he was hearing.

Jack felt a tear slowly glide down his cheek. There was no way he could expect Damien to understand. He deserved so much better than this. He deserved someone who wasn't… wasn't scarred. Yes, that was how he felt. It was as though he had a scar, one that he would never be able to forget. And once Damien discovered it, he surely would want nothing to do with him.

"Jack, whatever's going on right now… I just want you to know, you don't have to face it alone. I'll always be here for you." Damien's eyes were watering as well, "I'll wait for you, okay."

Jack nodded and watched as Damien turned to leave. He'd thought that breaking up would help. He didn't have to worry about Damien regretting him, or about hurting him as well. And yet, watching him leave broke his heart.

"What happened?" Erik asked, watching Damien wipe a tear from his face.

"We… we broke up." He said, shakily.

Erik's jaw dropped.

Damien looked him in the eyes then, "Erik, promise me you'll look after him." It wasn't a question or a request. It was more of a command.

He nodded and reopened the door. Jack was bawling inside, and Erik didn't hold back from hugging him.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered to his friend.

Jack flinched at the sudden touch, but knew it was only Erik. He didn't respond to Erik's reassurances. He didn't protest when Erik told him he was calling off his date with Zoey. Even if he had, Erik still would have stayed. Neferet showed up a short while later. She claimed things would get better, though he doubted it.

Damien didn't look back when he left Jack and Erik's room. He'd kept his eyes to the ground, not caring who he bumped into. He didn't care what they'd think of his tears. It didn't matter to him who saw. Without thinking, he found himself outside of the temple. He didn't even know how he'd gotten outside. But there he stood, as if the goddess herself had beckoned him there.

Stepping inside, he was happy to find it empty. He remembered what a past friend had once said; the hardest part of moving on is finding where to begin. The problem was, Damien didn't want to move on.

-/-

**Yeah, this is somewhere between Betrayed and Choosen so everyone (save for Zoey) still thinks Neferet is on their side. Besides, no matter how "evil" everyone thinks she is, she too is a victim and someone Jack can talk to.**


	3. Chapter 3

I'm sorry for late updates. I've been having some personal problems. If you're curious, the details are on my profile. Also, I'll soon be updating another… Smut story? I've just got to give it a stronger plot and it'll be done!

Anyway, I hope this helps to lighten the story's mood.

-/-

"Well, he still loves you." Erik said, sitting down beside Damien in their Advanced English class. It had been an entire week since the break up. Damien felt as though he'd claw his eyes out if he didn't think of a way to get Jack back. Erik had promised to help, although he refused to tell Damien why Jack had been acting so oddly.

"That's a relief." Damien replied. Jack had started classes again and things were returning to normal. They still sat beside each other during Movie Nights, although Jack freaked out at the slightest touch.

"Yeah, he says he just wants things to be the same. It helps him forget, I guess."

"Forget what?"

Erik's face reddened. He hadn't meant to let that slip. "Ah, you really should have a talk with him." He knew Jack's fears about Damien abandoning him. But he also thought that, right now especially, Jack needed Damien.

Damien sighed. Whatever it was, it'd probably be best if he heard it from Jack instead of Erik. "I wish I knew what to say. He just won't open up to me."

"Why don't you-" Erik suddenly blushed, "Just, make him know you love him. Do the most romantic thing you can think of. The more corny it is, the more he'll love it."

Damien thought for a minute, before asking, "Do you have a stereo?"

Erik smiled, guessing what Damien wanted to do. He'd never seen someone actually stand outside someone's window and play music, although he'd seen it in the movies plenty of times. "Yes, not to mention I have the perfect CD."

The class started soon afterward. Damien wasn't accustom to passing notes but ironing out their plan was necessary. Unfortunately, the plan would require a Peter Gabriel CD which would have to be stolen from the Twins.

-/-

"You're seriously thinking of doing that?" Shaunee asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I think it's a cute idea," Erin replied, swishing a lock of hair away from her face. They were sitting at their usual lunch table with the rest of the 'Nerd Herd.' Jack had been eating his lunch in Neferet's office lately and wasn't there to hear their plans.

"Yeah, it's just kind of… corny?" Shaunee laughed, "Regardless, you can't use Peter Gabriel."

Damien's eyes narrowed, "But, it's that like, traditional or something."

"You should defiantly go with something else," Zoey agreed.*

"Like what?"

The twins looked at each other, sharing evil smiles.

"Take my Hand by Simple Plan," Shaunee said.

"It's the gay-est gay boy love song in existence." Erin continued.

Zoey frowned, "Hey, I actually like that song."

"They're right though, that song is pretty… Well, it's gay. But not in a bad way." Erik said with a laugh.*

Damien shook his head. "What the heck, I may as well."

And that was how Damien ended up outside Erik and Jack's window. The others had all agreed to help him with this insane plan. He hadn't seen what was going on inside, though he was sure the twins had gone overboard with everything. Erik's face when he came to the window wasn't an encouragement either. Something told him that whatever they'd done, it would be a hundred times worse if Jack rejected him.

Erik made an 'it's okay' gesture as he attached a robe ladder to the window. Damien tried not to laugh, _'This really is ridiculous.'_

Erik had just finished attaching the hocks and securing the ladder when he heard someone sliding a key into the lock. He paused, trying to decide whether he should jump or find a place to hide. He could hide in the bathroom, but somehow it wouldn't feel right… Who knew what would happen between Jack and Damien.

Jack sighed, turning the doorknob. He'd been in the library for the past half-hour with Zoey. She'd asked for his help on an essay, although knowing nothing about Dracula, he'd ended up telling her to ask Damien.

Stepping inside, he stopped in surprise. The curtains where shaking violently and beneath them he could hear a thump. Even more startling, his room had been completely transformed. The lights were out and candles were the only real light source. They'd been placed everywhere, and in some of the strangest places. One particularly odd placed candle had been stuck inside of his sock drawer, opened apparently for the very propose. He rubbed at his eyes, although the vision didn't go away.

In fact, it only got stranger. For music began drifting up through the window.

Jack stepped toward the windowsill, his mind trying to make sense of everything. One hand reached out, drawing the curtains back as he gazed outside.

Damien stood silhouetted, due to the new moon. Jack wouldn't have known him from anyone else, but there was just something very 'Damien' about the whole thing. No one else would go to this extreme. Not for him… He was broken. Dirty.

_I know that people say_

_We're never gonna make it._

_But I know,_

_We're gonna get through this~_

A single tear seemed to settle in the corner of his eye. Jack could feel it, and yet he was completely lost in his own thoughts. Damien still wanted him. Didn't he know? Hadn't someone been kind enough to explain it?

_Don't let me let you go!_

Jack shook his head violently. However, it did nothing to chase away the thoughts.

_Take my hand tonight~_

Someone had told Damien. Someone must have.

_Let's not think about tomorrow!_

There was no other way. Why else would he lower himself to something this insane?

_Take my hand tonight!_

Jack should have known someone would tell eventually. Erik probably let slip to Zoey, who probably thought it was her duty to tell the whole group. Yeah, that's probably how it went.

_We can find someplace-_

Jack tried to take a step back, but his feet refused to move. He didn't really want to do this. Hadn't he told Damien that he needed time? Hadn't he promised to wait?

_The city sleeps_

_And we're lost in the moment._

The music was cutting through his thoughts like a knife. Jack sighed, realizing it was useless. He couldn't bear to turn Damien down again. His heart couldn't take it.

Damien probably knew that too.

_Please don't let me go~_

'_How could I', _Jack thought, in answer to the lyrics. '_How could I let you go?'_

-/-

Damien found himself sweating as the song neared the end. Jack was looking down at him, he knew that for sure. But, his expression was unreadable. It was so un-Jack-like… Damien didn't know what happened to Jack, but if there was any one person responsible… Well, that person better fear the day they crossed paths with Damien.

Finally, the last chorus faded out leaving them in silence before the next song started up. Of course, Damien hit the 'Stop' button before that could happen. For all he knew "For Your Entertainment" by Adam Lambert was the next song, he'd borrowed it from the twins after all, and that would be much more embarrassing then the whole thing was in general.

He set the stereo down, figuring Erik would collect it. The poor boy had taken a nasty tumble from the window and was currently hidden in the bushes, texting.

The rope ladder Erik had set up didn't look like the safest, but he figured he had to trust it regardless. Taking a breath, he soundlessly begged the goddess to keep him from falling as gracelessly as Erik had. She must have decided to spare him further humiliation, or the ladder was better hocked up than he'd given his companion credit for. Either way, he somehow made it up into the bedroom safely.

"Damien," the voice that greeted him was hushed, breathy.

"I know I promised I'd wait," Damien started, "But, I just wanted to show you that I care about you, Jack. I want you to know that you can trust me with anything. I'll always be here, waiting for you."

The tear that had been pooling up earlier suddenly fell from Jack's eye. He lowered his eyes as it streaked out his cheek. He knew he was getting all emotional again. Why was it that this always happened to him?

Damien tipped his face up, probably trying to get Jack to return the gaze. But, somehow, he didn't want to. He knew what he'd see. The same thing he saw in Erik's eyes. Pity. That's all it was. A shallow, distant emotion. He squeezed both eyes shut. He didn't think he could bear to see that in Damien's eyes.

However, he was surprised to feel the other's lips brushing against his own. He peeked up, letting the other boy rest his forehead against his own. Damien's eyes locked with his instantly…

There was so much in that gaze. Worry mixed with confusion, confusion was twisted with a bit of hurt which must have been waltzing with love because that was the main emotion he saw. A little bit of everything, except pity?

"Trust me?"

Jack couldn't help the tiny bubble of laughter. Damien looked so serious and he was just so sweet. And the question just seemed so silly.

"Until the day I die," he answered, putting on his own serious face.

Two hours later found them cuddled together in Jack's bed. There had been a lot of crying, and Jack wasn't the only one guilty of it. But, there had also been stolen kisses and reassuring promises whispered to each other. Damien still didn't have a clue as to what had happened to his Jack but… Tonight, he knew he'd caught a glimpse of _his_ Jack. The one he'd known before. It had only been a lone glimpse, but that was enough to give him hope.

And at the moment, that hope was all that mattered.

-/-

**Sorry for the lame-ness. I thought a little comic-relief would be good. **

***I couldn't bear bringing poor Peter Gabriel into this realm of complete nonsense.  
*Derek, I know you're reading this. :P And for the record, it is and you are. **


	4. Chapter 4

Hey~~~

First of all, I'm sorry this has been taking so long. I really need a Beta, or just a really nice person to yell at me when I don't update quickly.

Anyway, I do plan on continuing this story! However, I can no longer keep it T rated. I'm sure none of you'll mind, but I will be re-writing this and posting it in another story (With the same name lol)

I have not done so yet… But if you'd like, I can shoot you a PM when I do. (:

Thanks for reading the babbling. I hope to hear from everyone soon! Love and peace, from Nowaki!


	5. Farewell

**I'm sorry to have not updated in so long. I know not all of you know this, but I've been sick for a very long time and now, I've found out that I'm dying. If anyone wants to "adopt" this story or any of my others you may all feel free to do so. Good bye and love from Rhiannon, aka Nowaki Star**


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